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AUNT DINAH'S 

QUILTING PARTY 



Bn Orfgtnal Gntertainnicnt in One Jlcf and One Scene 



BY 

BETTINE K. PHILLIPS 



Copyright, 1903, by Dick & Fitzgerald 



^ 



NEW YORK 

DICK & FITZGERALD, Publishers 

18 Ann Street 



^1 \^ 



THE LIBRARY OF f 
CONC-iRESS. 

Two Copies Receiver; |l 

JUL 23 1903 

0. Copynglit Entry 
CLASS ^ XXc. No. 
COPY 3. 



/ - ^ v;// 



AUNT DINAH'S QUILTING PARTY. 



CHARACTERS 

Robert Hunter. Grandma Pepper. 

Deacon Peabody. Nellie Sanderson. 

Parson Goodboy. Mrs. Doolittle. 

Reuben Holdcraft. Mrs. Martin. 

Freddie. Cicely Martin. 

Dinah Peabody. Mrs. Mark. 

Hetty Peabody. Mrs. Parker. 

Miranda Spriggins. Mrs. Spooner. 
Girls and Boys. 

Time of Performance. — About one hour or more, according to 

the "specialties" introduced. 



SYNOPSIS 



Aunt Dinah and Mrs. Mark indulge in local gossip. Arrival 
of the guests; quilting commences, with a running fire of tittle- 
tattle. Miranda rushes in breathless — has seen a man — and "the 
villain still pursued her." It was Mr. Hunter, Aunt Dinah's 
lodger, who makes favorable impression. Freddie snubbed, 
plots mischief. The quilt finished. Supper is ready. Freddie's 
revenge. Sudden arrival of the Deacon, bringing Nellie Sander- 
son to get her away from her lover. The recognition. The 
Deacon's rage. The Ghost. Consternation. The Ghost un- 
masked, 'twas Freddie. The Deacon steps out with Freddie. 
The wedding in a hurry. The Deacon baffled. Robert and 
Nellie happy, and all join in "Seeing Sweet Nellie Home." 



4 Aunt Dinah's Quiltingf Party 

COSTUMES 

Robert Hunter. Stylish light sack suit; silk negligee shirt; 
low-cut patent leather shoes. 

Deacon Peabody. Dark trousers; outing flannel shirt; linen 
duster; turn-down collar; highly-colored tie; large hat; gray 
hair ; spectacles. 

Mr. Goodboy. Black clerical suit ; black hat. 

Reuben Holdcraft. Striped trousers; cutaway coat; white 
waist-coat; laundered shirt; red tie; red hair; very high collar; 
straw hat. 

Freddie. Short trousers; shirt-waist; turn-over collar; heavy 
shoes ; cap. * 

Dinah Peabody. Dark home dress; white apron,' v/hite col- 
lar and cuffs, very neat; iron-gray hair; spectacles. 

Miranda Spriggins. Blue skirt; pink shirt-waist; green 
jacket; low-cut shoes; red stockings; auburn curls; l^-rge hat, 
profusely trimmed with flowers. 

Grandma Pepper. Gray dress, full skirt, tight waist; white 
mull cap, and kerchief crossed over bosom; black silk apron; 
gray hair; spectacles; rusty black bonnet trimmed with purple 
flowers. 

Mrs. Martin. Flowered chintz dress; white lace collar; 
frizzed hair; florid complexion; large, aggressive, very imposing 
hat. 

Mrs. Spooner. Widow's weeds. 

Mrs. Doolittle. ) 

Mrs. Parker. r Dark skirts; shirt-waists; jackets; hats. 

Mrs. Mark. * 

Hetty Peabody. Light lawn dress; white, lace-ruffled, ribbon- 
trimmed apron; very trim and pert. 

Cicely Martin. White dress; pink ribbons; large white hat. 

Nellie Sanderson. Very stylish travelling costume; can 
change to white dress for second entrance if desirable. 

Girls. Dainty lawns; bright ribbons. 

Boys. Ordinary costumes. 



STAGE DIRECTIONS 

As seen by a performer on the stage, facing the audience. R. 
means right hand of stage; l., left of stage; c, centre of stage; 
u., up toward rear; d., down toward the footlights; r. c, right 
centre; l. c, left centre. 



AUNT DINAH'S QUILTING PARTY. 



SCENE. — Old-fashioned sitting-room in a New England 
village. Quilt on frame at r. c. Common chairs arranged 
around quilt, three on each side and two at hack facing audi- 
ence. Door and window, l. Door, r. Old-fashioned clock 
rear, and furniture arranged to taste. Chairs enough for 
guests. Aunt Dinah discovered at l. c. threading needles. 
Mrs. Mark seated at quilt, quilting. 

Aunt Dinah. It don't seem kinder right, Miss Mark, fer you 
to begin quiltin' all by yourself, but 'tain't no fault of mine. It's 
time they was all here. 

Mrs. Mark. Sakes alive! don't let that bother you, Aunt Di- 
nah. It don't make no difference. I ain't grudging a few 
stitches more or less. 

Aunt Di. Laws ! I know that, Miss Mark. Everybody knows 
you be too easy-going fer your own good, and that anybody kin 
impose on you. 

Mrs. Mark (laughs softly). That's jes' what Ezra says. He 
calls me an Easy Mark. 

Aunt Di, (laughs). Ezry alius was funny. How is he, any- 
how ? I hain't sot eyes on him fer a month of Sundays. 

Mrs. Mark. Oh, he is middlin' well, thankee. 

Aunt Di. (sticks threaded needles into quilt, goes to window, 
looks out impatiently). I wonder what ails them pesky folks? 

Mrs, Mark. Who all is comin , anyhow, Aunt Dinah ? 

Aunt Di. Oh, Miss Doolittle and Miss Perkins and the 
Widow Spooner and Miss Martin and her gal Cicely, the purty 
one, you know, and Grandmar Pepper, 

Mrs. Mark. Grandmar Pepper! You don't say! 

Aunt Di. (sits, quilts). Yes, Grandmar is 'mazin' spry, and 
as fer quiltin', she kin out-quilt creation; nobody kin hold a 
candle to her. That's why I invited her. 

Mrs. Mark, Mebbe so. Mebbe so. But they do say she's 
gettin' crankier and crankier every day ; that she is that contrairy 
her darter-in-law kin hardly live with her at all. 

Aunt Di. That may be, too, but I don't want to live with 
her. I jes' want her to quilt (laughs). 



6 Aunt Dinah's Quilting^ Party 

Mrs. Mark. And Mirandy Spriggins, of course she'll be here? 

Aunt Di. Of course she won't, if I've got anything to say 
about it. Besides she's bin down to Cooper's Corners fer a week 
back. 

Mrs. Mark. Land's sake! What does she want of a weak 
back? 

Aunt Di. (testily). Pshaw! I mean she's bin there fer quite 
a spell, and betwixt you and me and the gate post, Miss Mark, 
that's jes' why I hurried things up a bit — though I wa'n't ready — 
and had this 'ere quiltin' this week instid of nex', for I vum, I 
can't abide Mirandy Spriggins' flirtatious ways. 

Mrs. Mark. Mirandy is a little giddy fer her age. 

Aunt Di. Giddy ! I should say ! Why, she dresses like a 
young gal; and then them false curls, I'll bet she's as gray as I 
be, if the truth was known. I git so nervous sometimes lookin' 
at 'em bobbin' round that I feel like I must jerk 'em right off 
her head whether or no. But her tattlin' is the worst of her. 
She is the boss gossiper. 

Mrs. Mark. That's so. 

Aunt Di. Yes, if she was as glib with her needle as she is 
with her tongue I wouldn't mind. But (jumps up) here they 
all air in a bunch, at last. (Opens door, u, enter ladies.) Come 
in, ladies. Glad to see you. Jes' lay off your things right here 
and Hetty'll put 'em in the parlor. (Calls.) Hetty! 

Mrs. Parker. That's right, Aunt Dinah. We're late, and 
have no time to lose ; but we'll make it up, see if we don't. (En- 
ter Hetty.) Howdy, Hetty. You look good. 

Hetty (smiles). Thanks. Good afternoon, ladies. 

[Ladies all talk as they remove hats and wraps. EXIT 
Hetty,, r., carrying hats and wraps. 

Mrs. Doolittle. Howdy, Miss Mark. Hard at it, I see? 

Mrs. Mark. Yes, I bin here some time. How's the baby? 

Mrs. Doolittle. Oh, he's well or you wouldn't see me here. 
(Sits.) 

Mrs. Spooner (sits). I declare if Aunt Dinah hasn't got all 
the needles threaded. She's got an eye to business. 

Mrs. Martin. That suits me to a T. (Sits.) I'm going to 
cabbage two, for if there's anything I do hate it is threading 
needles. It takes so long, a body loses so much time. 

Grandma Pepper (still standing, slowly removing bonnet 
and gloves). Mebbe if you used spectacles. Sister Martin, it 
wouldn't take such a while. 

Mrs. Mark. Why, is that you, Grandmar? Howdy. Can you 
quilt? 

Grandma (scornfully). Kin / quilt? I quilted afore you was 



Aunt Dinah's Quilting Party 7 

born, Miss Mark, and I may quilt arter you are dead, there's no 
tellin', so don't get gay. 

Mrs. Mark, That's so. "Death loves a shining Mark," and I 
may be tuk first. I didn't mean no harm, though. 

ENTER Hetty. 

Mrs. Martin. , For the land's sake ! Cicely, are you primping 
before that glass yet? Come here this minit and sit by me. You 
kin thread my needles, if you can't quilt much. 

Cicely. Yes, mar. (Leaves glass reluctantly, sits, threads 
needle.) 

Grandma (hands bonnet very carefully to Hetty). There, 
Hetty, be keerful with my bunnit. I've worn that bunnit five 
year come Christmas, and I calkerlate to wear it five year longer. 
It hain't my best bunnit, neither. 

Hetty (pertly). I suppose, then, that will last you twenty 
years? 

Grandma (throws up hands). I want to know! Dinah Pea- 
body, do you 'low your gal to be so sassy? Now, when I was 
young — but no matter — it passes me, though, how impudent and 
disagreeable young folks is these days ! 

Hetty (aside, tosses head as as she exits r., carrying bonnet). 
I guess she thinks old folks had oughter monopolize the job. I 
don't know what she come for, anyhow. Next thing she'll be 
wanting to dance to-night 

[EXIT Hetty, r. At the quilt, Aunt Dinah, r., and 
Grandma, l., occupy the two seats at rear of quilt, 
and facing the audience. Cicely, Mrs. Mark and 
Mrs. Martin left of quilt. Cicely being next to 
Grandma. Mrs. Doolittle, Mrs. Spoomer and Mrs. 
Parker at r. of quilt. 

Grandma (puts on black silk apron, sits at quilt). What you 
be doin' here with the old folks. Cicely? Gals wa'n't so fond of 
quiltin' when I was young. 

Cicely. Mother thought I'd best come. 

Mrs. Martin. I guess "mother" did. Whenever I leave her 
hum alone, I don't know how it is, but that red-headed Reuben 
Holdcraft, what lives next door, is sure to want to borrow some- 
thin' or other offen us 

Cicely. Oh, mother! 

Mrs. Martin. It's true, and when once he gits there he for- 
gits all about what he cum for, and there he sets. I wonder some- 
times he don't take root. 



8 Aunt Dinah's Quilting Party 

Cicely. Oh, mother! Ain't you 

Mrs. Martin. Don't "Oh, mother!" me. I notice one thing, 
when you leave and / stay he never wants to borrow anything. 

Grandma. When I was young, folks what had sich purty 
darters kinder expected the sons-in-law to come 'long arter a 
while. It's the way of the world, Sister Martin, and you can't 
help it. 

Mrs. Martin. / kin help Reuben 



ENTER Hetty, hurriedly. 

Hetty. Oh, mar! What do you think? Mirandy Spriggins 
is comin' in the gate now, and you said 

Aunt Di. Shet up ! No sich thing. Mirandy ain't to hum. 
(Rises, looks out of window.) Well, I swan! If it hain't 
Mirandy, sure as shpotin', and runnin' as if a mad dog was at 
her heels, 

ENTER Miranda Spriggins, l., hastily, breathless. 

Miranda. Howdy, Aunt Dinah. I dasn't stop to rap. 
Howdy, ladies. Glad to see you all, but you must excuse me. I 
got sich a scare my nerves is all upset. (Sinks limply into rock- 
ing-chair, making liberal display of cotton-laced lingerie.) 

Aunt Di. I think somethin' else is upsot. (Stoops, pulls 
down Miranda's skirts.) What ails you, anyway, Mirandy? 
Did you see a rattlesnake? 

MiRAN. (gasps). No, no! A Man! A strange, mysterious- 
looking Man right out there in the road. ' (Sits erect, points u, 
toward door.) 

Grandma. And run from him? Well, I vum, Mirandy, you 
do be a fool. 'Pears like to me if 1 had bin lookin' for some- 
thin' mor'n forty year I would not run from it when I did find it. 

MiRAN. (bridles). I ain't in my dotage yet, like some folks, 
nohow ; if I was, I'd stop to hum and mind my own business. 
(To Aunt Dinah.) He was a stranger, a man I never set eyes 
on before, and he stared at me so hard and queer-like it put me 
all in a flutter. He was a-followin' me, and if I hadn't run right 
in here he would — (Glances out l.) Oh, lordy! He is a-fol- 
lowin' me, anyhow. He is a-comin' in the gate now. The villain 
still pursues me ! (Sinks back, martyr-like expression, closes 
eyes. Ladies all start to rise.) 

Aunt Di. (goes to door). • Why, that's nobody but the new 



Aunt Dinah^s Quilting Party 9 

boarder. Ladies, don't stop quiltin' ; it's only the music teacher, 
and he ain't even comin' in here. He ginerally goes straight to 
his own room on the other side of the porch. 

MiRAN. (revives). You don't say, Aunt Dinah, you got a 
new boarder, a music teacher, and I never heard tell of him? 
That comes of my bein' at Cooper's Corners so long. 

Aunt Di. I 'lowed, Mirandy, you was a-goin' to stop at the 
Corners till next week, anyhow. 

MiRAN. So I was till I heard 'bout your quiltin' party. Slo- 
cum's Joe was there yestiddy with some truck to sell, and told 
me, and I knowed jes' how you'd feel if I wa'n't here — jes' how 
disapp'inted you'd be. And while I was perusin' my mind for 
a way to get here, up drove Squire Rollins on his way over, and 
in / bounced and here I am. But I don't believe I kin quilt a 
stitch, my nerves is in sich a quiver. 

Mrs. Parker. It is jes' as well, Mirandy, for there ain't no 
room for you, nohow. 

Mrs. Spooner (aside, nudges Mrs. Parker). Good for you. 
We don't want her crowding in here. 

Aunt Di. But I kin find something fer you to do jes' the 
same. 'Tain't fair fer one person to sit idle while all the rest 
is workin'. I guess you ain't too flustrated to piece some blocks, 
Mirandy. 

MiRAN. Oh, certainly not. (Aunt Dinah brings quilt pieces, 
needles, etc., to Miranda, who settles herself in rocker to sew.) 
Well, ladies, what's the news? What you all been doin' sence I 
bin away? 

Mrs. Doolittle. We calkerlated you'd bring us some news. 

Miran. me? Laws sake! I ain't heard nuthin', and I ain't 
no gossiper, nohow. I didn't even know 'bout this new music 
teacher. I wish I had. How cum you to take a boarder, any- 
how. Aunt Dinah? 

Aunt Di. Oh, it was all father's doin's. He got to talkin' 
with this stranger down to Riley's store one arternoon and tuk 
to him 'mazinly from the first minit, and when it transpired that 
he was a music teacher and lookin' for a place to stay, and 
somebody to teach, father thought it would be a good chance 
for Hetty to learn, she's always bin that sot on music. So he 
fetched him 'long to supper that night to talk it over, and — well, 
the long and the short of it is, he's bin here ever sence. 

Miran. That's good. And how do you like him? 

Aunt Di. Oh, nobody kin help likin' Mr. Hunter, he's got 
sich a takin' way with him. He is jes' like one of the family, 
not a mite o' trouble, and makes fun for all of us. 

Miran. I'd love the best in the world to meet him. Is he a 



to Aunt Dinah's Quilting^ Party 

good teacher? Maybe I'll take lessons myself. Has Hetty 
learnt anything? 

Aunt Di. Oh, he is a fust-rate teacher, but father told him 
fust off he didn't want no nonsense 'bout learnin' Hetty by the 
quarter nor the day nor the hour nor the lesson, but by the chune^ 
and that is how he has teached her, and now she can sing real 
good, and father is so tickled he's promised her a pianny jes' as 
soon as she kin play a chune on the banjo. 

Mrs. Parker. It 'pears to me that this quilt is 'bout ready to 
roll. 

Mrs. Spooner {rises). That's so. I can't stretch another 
inch. 

Mrs. Martin. I've reached till my back aches. 

Mrs. Mark. And my feet are real numb. {All rise, roll 
quilt.) 

ENTER Freddie, with school-hooks. 

Aunt Di. What makes you so late to-day, Freddie? 

Freddie. 'Cos I got kept in. 

Aunt Di. Kept in? What for? 

Freddie. Xos Tommy Slocum broke a winder light and told 
the teacher that I done it. 

Aunt Di. But you didn't? Don't tell a fib, Freddie dear. 

Freddie. I ain't tellin' no fib, and I didn't break no winder, 
but Tommy said I throwed the stone, and I seen him throw it, 
and we both got kept in, and teacher says we got to pay for 
the winder. Where is Hetty? I want something to eat. {Starts 
to door, R. Aunt Dinah stops him.) 

Aunt Di. Where's your manners, Freddie? Don't you see 
there is company? 

Freddie {jerking away). Nuthin' but an old quiltin' party, 
and I hate quiltin' parties. 

Aunt Di. Freddie! 

Freddie. Yes I do ! Nobody but wimen and preachers come 
to quiltin' parties ; and you won't let me cut the pies till supper's 
ready, and then I have to wait till the second table. But I guess 
I kin have some doughnuts now. Leave go, Grandmar. I'm 
hungry. {Jerks away. EXIT.) 

[Ladies finish rolling quilt, resume seats. 

Aunt Di. I hope you won't mind him, ladies {apologetically). 
He's nuthin' but a boy, and he's got sich an awful appetite all 
he thinks 'bout is eatin'. 

Grandma. Children was taught to keep their places when I 



Aunt Dinah's Quilting: Party U 

was young, boys and gals alike. I hope the Deakin don't 'low 
that boy to talk sassy to him, Dinah ? 

Aunt Di. Father ain't to hum, Grandmar. He's gone up to 
the city to visit with my brother. 

MiRAN. Laws-a-me ! Aunt Dinah, that jes' reminds me, I did 
hear some news while I was gone, and it was about your broth- 
er's darter Nellie. There's bin awful goin's on at their house. 

Aunt Di. (indignantly). Awful goin's on at my brother John's 
house? What do you mean, Mirandy Spriggins? 

MiRAN. (resentfully). Oh, you needn't git riled and jump 
onto poor me about it. 'Tain't my fault if folks will talk, and 
everybody is a-talkin' 'bout it down to the Corners. 

Aunt Di. Talkin' 'bout what? Why don't you say? 

MiRAN. 'Bout your niece, Nellie Sanderson, and her beau. 

Aunt Di. What, little Nellie— that child? Why, she beain't 
much older than my Hetty. I didn't know she had a beau. 

MiRAN. No more did they, but it seems she did, all the same. 
She's a sly one. But my! when the old folks did find it out — 
that she was really engaged — wasn't there a row? (Drops work, 
throws up hands.) They fired the feller before you could say 
Jack Robinson, and locked Nellie up so as to make sure she 
couldn't see him, and wouldn't let her have nuthin' to eat but 
bread and water, and I did hear, but don't know how true it is, 
that she is jes' pinin' away, and sez if she can't have him she 
won't have nobody. 

Grandma. What ails the young man? What's their dejection 
to him? 

MiRAN. He's poor, and a musical perfesser, and sings round 
in concert halls and theatres. And you know them Sandersons 
can't stand that, 'cos they alius was hateful and stuck up, and 
thought theirselves better than common folks 'cos he made a for- 
tune sellin' rags. (Stops suddenly, confused.) Oh, Aunt Di- 
nah, I forgot — of course, though, I mean them city Sandersons, 
not you. 

Aunt Di. Oh, never mind, Mirandy. Now you've said it you 
had better stick to it. 



ENTER Freddie, r., togged out in old skirt and ladies' wraps, 
gloves, etc. 

Freddie (mincingly). Good afternoon. Miss Peabody. I heard 
you had a quiltin' party, and although you didn't invite me, I 
thought I'd drop in anyway. Where shall I sit? 

All. Why, it is Freddie ! Ain't he cute ? 



J 2 Aunt Dinah's Quilting- Party 

Mrs. Doolittle (humoring the joke). Right here by me, Miss 
Smith. (All laugh.) 

Grandma. Drat the boy! if he ain't got on my bunnit. 
(Springs up, snatches at bonnet. Freddie dodges.) 

Aunt Di. Ain't you ashamed, Freddie? 

Freddie. I never hurt her old bonnet ! There, take it ! 
(Tosses bonnet at Grandma,) You don't want a feller to have 
any fun at all. 

[EXIT Freddie. 

Grandma (smooths rumpled bonnet). I must say, Dinah Pea- 
body, that boy needs a spankin', and I don't see why you don't 
give it to him. 

Aunt Di. I know he is bad, Grandmar, as full of mischief 
as an egg is of meat; but, you know, he is my oldest gal's only 
child, and she lies dead over there in the churchyard (wipes eyes 
with apron), and natchelly I hain't got the heart to whip him. 
Besides, the child has jes' bin eatin', and I don't believe in 
spanking on a full stomach. 

Grandma. Turn him over, then— turn him over. That's th^ 
way they spanked when I was young. 

Miran. For the land's sake ! Stop talkin' 'bout spankin' 1 
Here comes the new music teacher. (Runs to mirror, prinks.) 

Aunt Di. If it hain't! That's jes' like him, he's so sociable- 
like. Come right in, Mr. Hunter. (ENTER Mr. Hunter, r.) 
It is only a quiltin' party. Don't be skeart at so many wimen- 
folks. 

Mr. Hunter (bows). The ladies never frighten me. Aunt 
Dinah. I'm too fond of them for that. I think you can't have 
too much of a good thing. 

[Ladies smile. Miranda giggles. 

Miran. (aside). He's perfectly lovely! (Smirks, makes eyes 
at Mr. Hunter.) 

Aunt Di. I believe you are acquainted with all of 'em ex- 
ceptin' Mirandy Spriggins and Grandmar Pepper. 

Mr. Hunter. I believe so. (Approaches Grandma, bows, ex- 
tends hand.) I am happy to meet you, Mrs. Pepper. 

Grandma (shakes hands). Thankee. Same to you, Mr. 
Hunter. 'Tain't likely, now, you be any kin to them there 
Hunters what lives up by Loneman's Knob, is it? 

Mr. Hunter. Shouldn't wonder in the least. You know, all 
the Hunters are descendants of Robin Hood. (Grandma eyes 
him sharply.) By the way, this is the first quilting party I ever 
had the pleasure of attending. 

Grandma. Du tell ! And you a grown man, too. Where 



Aunt Dinah's Quilting Party t3 

you bin all yor life? It is 'stonishing, though, how leetle some 
folks know ! 

Mr. Hunter. I am very sorry my education has been so 
neglected, Mrs. Pepper. 

Grandma. Grandmar — call me Grandmar. 

Mr. Hunter. Well, Grandma. But I am going to improve 
my opportunities. I'll make up for lost time and learn all about 
it, if somebody will kindly teach me. (Looks at Cicely.) 

Grandma. I want to know ! 

Mr. Hunter. So do I. I suppose there are no reserved seats? 
(Takes a chair and sits next Cicely.) Will you please lend me 
your needle? (Takes needle from Cicely.) Oh, it is already 
threaded, thanks. 

Mrs. Martin. Well, I never! 

Mrs. Spooner. Did you ever? 

Mrs. Doolittle. A man a-quiltin'! Who ever heard tell of 
sich a thing ? 

Mr. Hunter. Now, Grandma, I guess you know more about 
quilting than all the rest ? You put it through like this ? (Sticks 
needle through quilt, all watch intently.) 

Grandma (approaches). Yes, and draw it out like this. 
(Sticks needle into Mr. Hunter's hand. All laugh.) 

Mr. Hunter (jumps up, hops about). Gee Whillikens ! What 
are you doing? That's enough quilting for me, thanks. I know 
all I care to. 

Grandma. I calkerlate you do. Next time you want to poke 
fun at anybody, young man, don't let it be Grandmar Pepper. 

Mr. Hunter. You bet I won't ! I've had enough Pepper in 
mine. (Turns to Miranda.) I think. Miss Spriggins, I've had 
the pleasure of seeing you before? 

Miran. (aside). I knowed I made an impression. (To Mr. 
Hunter, simpering.) Yes, a while ago, out there on the road. 

Mr. Hunter. You seemed to be in a great flurry, or rather a 
great hurry? 

Miran. (giggles). Yes, that's so. I am sich a timid little 
thing that the sight of a stranger so unexpected-like kinder flus- 
trated me. 

Mr. Hunter. That's too bad. I'm very sorry to have caused 
you so much perturbation. 

Miran. (with dignity). Oh, I wasn't perturbated, thankee; 
only kinder nervous. 

Mr. Hunter. You should endeavor to overcome such extreme 
nervousness, for if you get frightened at the sight of a nice-look- 
ing young man in broad daylight, what would you do if you met 
the ghost at night? 



H Aunt Dinah's Quilting Party 

ENTER Freddie, eating apple. 

All. The ghost ! What ghost ? 

Mr. Hunter. Is it possible, ladies, that none of you have 
heard the latest sensation of our little city? 

Grandma. Nobody's heard tell of any ghost. 

Freddie. Yes they have, too. I heard all about it. Mr. 
Hunter, you mean old Hardtack's ghost? 

Mr. Hunter. That is the very ghost, Freddie. 

Freddie. Yes, everybody is talkin' 'bout it. 

Mrs. Doolittle. That's always the way 'bout ghosts. Every- 
body is talkin', but nobody's ackchally seen it. (Tosses head.) 

Mr. Hunter. I beg your pardon, Mrs. Doolittle, but I heard 
Dick Williams and Dave Bennett telling down to Riley's store 
this afternoon about seeing the ghost last night. 

Mrs. Doolittle. You don't say? 

All. Tell us about it. 

Mr. Hunter. Certainly, if it won't frighten some of you. 
(Glances at Miranda.) Well, they were coming along from 
the husking, laughing and joking, thinking nothing at all of 
ghosts, when all of a sudden a tall, white figure loomed right 
up in front of them. 

Mrs. Spooner. And was it really old Silas? 

Mr. Hunter. They didn't stop to inquire. They took to their 
heels and never stopped till they got to Riley's. 

Miran. Goodness gracious ! I'll be afraid to pass there to- 
night. It is right on my way home. 

Grandma. You had best go now, Mirandy, while it is light 
enuff to keep ghosts away. How long has it bin sence old Hard- 
tack died, anyhow? I disremember. 

Mrs. Parker. Oh, not such a spell. It was 'long in March, 
time of the big snow storm. 

Freddie. I want another apple. [EXIT. 

Miran. That's so. He tuk cold shovellin' snow, 'cos he was 
too stingy to hire it done, and first off they thought he had 
tunnelitis, but after it enveloped into ammonia. 

Grandma. I guess, Miss Spriggins, you mean newmonm. 

Miran. I guess, Mrs. Pepper, I don't mean anything of- the 
kind. You needn't think you know everything because you have 
lived a hundred years. I said ammonia. Ain't I right, Mr. 
Hunter ? 

Mr. Hunter. Really, ladies, this places me in an embarrass- 
ing position, but I guess either will do. There was no doubt 
about his dying, was there? 



Aunt Dinah^s Quilting Party J 5 

Mrs. Mark. Oh, no, he died all right, for I seen him in his 
coffin. 

Mr. Hunter. It seems, though, he is not willing to stay in it. 

Grandma, I don't wonder at it, nuther. It is enuff to make 
him restless in his grave, the way they have bin digging all 
'round him. 

Mr. Hunter. Digging? 

Grandma. Yes. You see, his folks was terribly disappinted. 
'bout his money. They didn't get as much as they suspected, 
and as he was a sorter miser, they calkerlate he must have hid 
lots of it away somewheres, and they can't find it. They have 
been pulling the whole place to pieces, digging of the yard and 
even under the kitchen floor, to find where he kept it. 

Mrs. Parker. Mebbe he never had it at all. 

Mrs. Martin. I don't see why they should think he had so 
much money, anyhow, for goodness knows ! that land of his'n 
is so poor you couldn't raise an umbrelly on it. 

Grandma. I dunno 'bout that, but I do know old Silas alius 
managed to raise the wind on it. 

Mr. Hunter (clasps hands). Good, Grandma! Generally in 
my profession, when we can raise the wind the ghost is sure to 
walk. 

MiRAN. That reminds me, Mr. Hunter, do tell me something 
about your profession. I am just dying to know, I am so inter- 
ested- in art. (Clasps hands, rolls up eyes, looks transcendent.) 
I thought once of going on the stage myself. Do musicians 
make much money? 

Mr. Hunter. Well, that depends, Miss Spriggins. Some- 
times they do and sometimes they don't. You see, there is a 
difference in them. Now, for instance, take me 

MiRAN. (covers face with hands, simpers). Oh, Mr. Hunter, 
this is so sudden! 

Mr. Hunter. Not half as sudden as this. 

[EXITS hastily, r. 

Mrs. Doolittle. Well, Aunt Dinah, we've bin real smart ; the. 
quilt is finished. Now we'll take it out and bind it. (Ladies 
rise. ) 

Miran. (lowers hands, peers coyly, surprised. Aside). They 
must have scairt him off, jumping up like that in a bunch. (To 
ladies.) You're done, air you? 
Grandma. Yes, and so air you. 

[Ladies sit in half-circle at l. c, bind quilt. Aunt Di- 
nah removes frames. 



t6 Aunt Dinah's Quilting Patty 

ENTER Hetty, r. 

Aunt Di. I guess I better be setten the table and gitten sup- 
per ready. Come, Hetty, and give me a lift with this table. ( They 
arrange table, spread cloth.) Now, Hetty, while I fetch in the 
things you kin sing fer the folks. 

Hetty. I don't want to sing, mar. 

Cicely. Oh, yes, Hetty. We'd just love to hear you. 

Hetty. I've got such a cold, and I'm all out of practice. 

Aunt Di. Come now, Hetty, no nonsense. You kin sing 
good enough, 'specially if Mr. Hunter will company you. 
(Looks about.) Where is he gone now? I never see sich a one 
to bob 'round as that man is. 

MiRAN. He's out under the apple tree with Freddie. I'll 
fetch him. [EXIT Miranda, l, 

ENTER Mr. Goodboy, l. 

Aunt Di. Why, here's the minister. Come right in. Brother 
Goodboy. You are jes' in the nick of time. The quilt is fin- 
ished, supper is nearly ready, and we're going to have some 
music ! 

Mr. Goodboy (shakes hands with Aunt Dinah). I am in 
luck, it seems. Good evening, ladies. Glad to see you all. 
(Shakes hands with ladies.) Why, if here isn't Grandma! I 
hope you feel as well as you look. Grandma. 

Grandma. Why don't you say that to Cicely? 

Mr. Goodboy. If Miss Cicely feels as well as she looks, she 
must be enjoying excellent health. (Bows to Cicely.) 

ENTER Mr. Hunter, l., leading Freddie, Miranda following. 

MiRAN. Here he is. 

Aunt Di. Mr. Hunter, won't you make Hetty sing for the 
folks? She's so bashful. (Hetty draws back.) 

Mr. Hunter (advances to Hetty, smiles). Certainly. Come, 
Hetty, if you don't sing they'll all think I'm no good as a teacher. 
(Leads Hetty to c. Sings, appropriate selections, duet; at fin- 
ish all applaud.) 

Mrs. Martin. That certainly is fine. Cicely's got to begin 
takin' lessons right away. What do you charge, Mr. Hunter? 

Grandma. I didn't think it was in the gal. She sings like 
a martingale. (Aside to Aunt Dinah.) But keep an eye on 
that air teacher, Dinah. He is takin' a shifie to Hetty and no 
mistake. 



Aunt Dinah^s Quiltingf Party 17 

Mr. Hunter. Doesn't any one else here sing? (Approaches 
Miranda.) Won't you favor us, Miss Spriggins? 

MiRAN. I used to sing, but 

Freddie (aside). Yes, when they'd let her. 

Miran. I haven't tried for sich a spell I'm most afeared I 
might make a flummax of it. 

Mr, Hunter (urgently). You can surely try. An angel can 
do no more. 

Miran. (simpers, allows Mr. Hunter to lead her to c). Oh, 
well, since you insist, I will do what I can. I don't sing any 
ragtime stuff. My talent runs to the sentimental. (Sings in 
shrill, nasal tones, with ludicrous gestures.) 



SONG. 
WE PARTED BY THE RIVERSIDE. 

[The complete words and music of this song can be supplied by the pub- 
lishers, or by the Oliver Ditson Company of Boston, Mass. Price, 40 cents.] 

We parted by the riverside. 

The moon looked down on you and me; 
The stars .put on a look of pride. 

The river murmured to the sea. 
The dewdrop kissed the blushing rose; 

The gentle winds did sigh. 
One word broke Nature's sweet repose, — 

That sad word was good-by. 

Chorus : 
Oh, tell me that you love me yet, 

For, oh ! the parting gives me so much pain. 
Oh ! tell me that you'll not forget. 
For we may never meet a-gain. 

[Presses hands to heart, wriggles as if in pain. 

Aunt Di. (at close of song). Supper's ready. Come, every- 
body. 

[All sit except Freddie and Hetty. Mr. Hunter and 

Miranda sit next to each other. Freddie rushes to 

table. 

Aunt Di. I hope, ladies, your work has given you an appetite. 

(Aside to Freddie.) No, dear, you must wait. You can't eat 

at the first table. 



J8 Aunt Dinah's Quiltin§f Party 

Freddie (aloud). I could if that old boarder wasn't here. He 
gits the best of everything. But I'll git even, see if I don't. 
(Sulks in corner, kicks feet against wall, watches table.) 

Aunt Di. Freddie! 

Mrs, Parker. I don't know how it is, Sister Peabody, but my 
beans never brown so beautiful as yourn, 

Mrs. Spooner. And mine alius mush up together, in spite 
of all I kin do. 

Mrs. Mark (to Hetty, who serves table). Hetty, please pass 
me them sweet pickles. (Hetty passes pickles.) 

Mrs. Doolittle. And, Hetty, I'll have some of that cold ham. 

Mr. Goodboy. Ladies, allow me to help you to this salad. It's 
fine. [All pass plates. 

Grandma. For the land's sake ! didn't you folks have no din- 
ner to hum to-day? Remember, Sister Peabody has got cakes 
and pies 'n' things to cum yit. 

Mr. Goodboy. Sister Peabody certainly knows how to cook. 

Mr. Hunter. That's why I board here. The ladies deserve 
a fine supper. Brother Goodboy, after their work. They turned 
out a beautiful job, if I am any judge of quilts. 

Aunt Di. That's so, Mr. Hunter. Show it to the minister, 
Hetty. (Hetty brings quilt, holds it up for inspection.) 

Mr. Goodboy. That is certainly very fine. Ladies, I congrat- 
ulate you. 

MiRAN. But that ain't the best of it. The person, or persons, 
that a new quilt covers first will be married before the year is 
out. (Giggles.) 

Mr. Goodboy. I never heard that. 

Mr. Hunter. Nor I. Won't you please put it on my bed to- 
night, Aunt Dinah? (All laugh.) 

MiRAN. La ! you don't have to wait to put it on the bed. 

Freddie (rushes forward, jerks quilt, throws it over Mr. 
Hunter and Miranda). No you don't. There, you're under 
it now! (Holds quilt down; general scramble. All laugh, 
Miranda screams. Aunt Dinah jerks quilt away, bringing off 
Miranda's false curls. Miranda snatches curls, EXITS hur- 
riedly, R.) 

Mr. Hunter. This is my time to escape. (Rushes off at r.) 

Aunt Di. (shakes Freddie). Freddie! Freddie! I'm ashamed 
of you. 

Freddie. Look! look! There's Grandpar comin' in the gate, 
and somebody's with him. Leave go ! leave go ! Grandpar's 
come. 

Mrs. Martin (looks out). It is the Deacon, sure enough! 



Attnt Dinah's Quilting; Party J9 

ENTER Deacon Peabody, followed by Nellie Sanderson. 

Aunt Di. (advances, grasps Deacon's hands, smiles). Why, 
father ! You got back sooner than you 'spected to. 

Deacon. Yes, mother, and I fetched you somethin' purty from 
town. (Pushes Nellie forward. Aunt Dinah looks closely at 
her.) 

Aunt Dl Sakes alive! if it beain't Nellie! (Kisses Nellie.) 
Why, child, you growed so I hardly knowed you, I'm glad to 
see you, though, and so will Hetty be. (Calls.) Hetty! La- 
dies, this is my niece, Nellie Sanderson, from the city. Nellie, 
this is our minister, Mr. Goodboy. (All exchange salutations.) 

Deacon. I'm glad to see you all here, and I'm glad to be here 
myself. No place like home. 

ENTER Hetty, r. Kisses Nellie. 

Aunt Dl Now set right down and eat your supper, Nellie. 
You look pale and tuckered out. 

Nellie. Thanks, auntie, but I don't believe I can eat a bite, 
I am so tired. It was such a long ride. 

Deacon. Yes, and sich a jolting one arter we took the coach. 
You jes' run along with Hetty and rest a spell. (Pats Nellie^s 
head.) Never mind the eating. 

[Folloivs Nellie and Hetty to door, r. EXIT Nellie 
and Hetty. Deacon returns to c. 

Deacon. Yes, mother, we had lunch in the cars, but nobody 
kin hold a candle to you when it comes to cooking. (Pinches 
piece from doughnut.) Jes' save some of 'em doughnuts for my 
breakfast, will you? (Takes newspapers from pocket, hands to 
Mr. Goodboy.) There's the city papers, Brother Goodboy, if you 
care to look over them. 

Mrs. Spooner. Well, Deacon, if you don't want any supper 
we'll clar away the table while you tell Aunt Dinah 'bout your 
visit. 

Aunt Di. Thankee. (Ladies clear table, move it away, 
Aunt Dinah advances to c). How cum you to bring Nellie 
along, Hiram? Kinder onexpected, wa'n't it? 

Deacon. Oh, I dunno. Nellie's bin ailin', and her folks 
thought the change mought do her good. (Confidentially.) I 
got somethin' to tell you, mother, 'bout Nellie arter while. 
(Looks over shoulder at company.) 

Aunt Di. If it's anything 'bout Nellie's beau you'd jes' as 
well tell it now, 'cos everybody here has heard all 'bout it. 



20 A«nt Dinah^s Quilting: Party 

Deacon. Well, that beats the band! Who let the cat out of 
the bag? 

Aunt Di. Mirandy Spriggins. 

Deacon. Gee Whillikens ! I mought have knowed. News 
travels over her tongue quicker than it does over the telefoam. 

Aunt Di. Hush ! Here she is now. 

ENTER Miranda, r., carrying flowers. 

MiRAN. Howdy, Deacon. When did you git here? I can't 
stop to shake hands. We're fixin' for a frolic to-night. 

Aunt Di. Yes, father, we be havin' a quiltin'. But is it true 
that Nellie has quarrelled with her par and mar 'bout this beau? 

Deacon. They've quarrelled with him 'bout her. And fired him 
out and won't let her even see him, much less speak to him. 

Aunt Di. Du tell! What's the matter with him, father? 

Deacon. I don't know much 'bout him, seein' as I never sot 
eyes on him. But they say he ain't no good — leastways not good 
enuff for Nellie, and I guess they're right. He calls hisself a 
musical perfesser, but he don't git much teachin' to do, and so 
has to sing 'round wherever he can strike a job, and that don't 
suit the Sandersons. Besides he is as poor as a church mouse. 

Aunt Di. Poverty ain't no crime. 

Deacon. Look here now, mother, this ain't your fight, so don't 
go puttin' in your oar, for you don't know nuthin' 'bout it. 

Aunt Di. No more do you. 

Deacon. I know a gal had orter obey her par and mar. Don't 
the Scripter say so? They natchelly know what's best for her. 
Anyway, they had to watch her so close to keep her from seein' 
him, so I told 'em I'd bring her 'long home with me, where there 
would be no danger at all of his gettin' at her, and mebbe she'd 
fergit all 'bout it. (Aunt Dinah looks serious.) You beain't 
sorry I brought her, be you? 

Aunt Di. Land sakes, no! Only it 'pears to me, father, that 
you hadn't orter meddle with it at all. 'Tain't no consarn of 
yourn if the young folks love each other. 

Deacon. Now, mother, don't you go puttin' any sassy idees 
in that gal's head. She is skittish enuff already. 

Aunt Di. I wonder she was willin' to come at all. 

Deacon. Oh, she was willin' enuff to come, but she laughed 
at the idee of it's makin' any difference whether she was in the 
city or the country, and told 'em he would be sure to find a way 
to find her, and whenever he did she meant to marry him in 
spite of all the pars and mars in the world. She's got lots of 
Bunker Hill grit if she is little. {Chuckles.') But she can't 
help herself now, anyway. 



Aunt Dinah^s Quiltingf Party 2i 

ENTER Freddie. 

Freddie. I've done fed the horse, Grandpar. Where's that 
knife you promised me? 

Deacon. Well, I vum, Freddie, I'm sorry, but I clean forgot 
that knife. 

Freddie (whimpers). That's the way you always treat me. 

Deacon. Never mind, sonny. Don't cry, and Grandpop will 
give you a quarter next week to go to the circus. 

Freddie. That's always the way, puttin' me off, puttin' me 
off. But I'll git even, see if I don't. (Sulks.) 

Aunt Di. Here come the young folks now. (Young folks 
heard laughing and talking loudly.) Sakes alive, what a noise! 
Come in, come in. Why, what you all so flustrated 'bout? 
(Reuben and young folks rush in l. pell-mell, boys laughing, girls 
breathless. Reuben carries a banjo.) 

First Girl. The boys frightened us ! 

ENTER Hetty, r., smiles, bows to guests. 

Second Girl. Yes, we had such a scare ! 

Hetty. What skeart j^ou? 

Third Girl (laughs). They made believe they saw old Hard- 
tack's ghost. 

Deacon. Bosh ! 

First Boy, We did see it. 

Second Boy. I felt it. It yanked me by the leg, and I thought 
sure my time had come. 

Reuben. It spoke to me. 

Hetty. Oh, Reuben, what a fib! 

Reuben. Honest. It said (mimics ghost in sepulchral tones) : 
"Reuben Holdcraft, be you ready to pass in your chips?" (All 
laugh. ) 

Hetty. And what did you say? 

Reuben. I said: "No, siree! I was still in the game, looking 
for a raise." (Twangs his banjo.) 

Hetty. I'm awful glad you brought your banjo, Reuben. 
Now, with Mr. Hunter, we can have some music worth listening 
to. My cousin Nellie, from the city, is here, and I want to 
show her something swell. 

Reuben. Put a sponge in water, then. That's the surest way, 
Hetty. Why, if there ain't Cicely! (Crosses to Cicely, panto- 
mime conversation.) 

Aunt Di. By the way, Hetty, where is Nellie? 



22 Awiit Dinah's Quilting Party 

Hetty. Oh, she'll be 'long directly. I had to loan her some 
fixin's, 'cos her trunk ain't come yet. She has got her hair curled 
and looks too sweet for anything. Here's Mr. Hunter now. The 
sooner we begin the better. 

ENTER Mr. Hunter, r. Young folks gather about him, smile, 
shake hands. 

Mr. Hunter. Let's have a quartet first. 

[Anything appropriate in the way of music, recitations, 
etc., can be introduced here. 

Hetty. Now, won't somebody recite? 

Freddie (rushes forward). Yes, / will. 

Hetty (pushes Freddie aside). You just won't. Par, make 
him go to bed. 

Freddie. I won't go to bed. I'm going to speak. 

Deacon. Come, come, Freddie, you'd best go to bed, sonny. 
You don't know what to speak about. 

Freddie. Yes I do. 'Bout two minutes, that's all. (Rushes 
to c, recites.) 



ONLY A PIN. 

Only a pin, — ^yet it calmly lay 
On the carpeted floor in the light of day. 
And shone serene and clear and bright, 
Reflecting back the noonday's light. 

Only a boy, — but he saw that pin, 
And his face assumed a fiendish grin; 
And he slyly stooped with look intent, 
Till both he and the pin alike were bent. 

Only a chair, — yet upon its seat 
That well-bent pin found safe retreat; 
Nor could the keenest eye discern 
That heavenward its point did turn. 

Only a man, — but he chanced to drop 
Upon that chair, when — bang ! whiz ! pop ! 
Like the cork from a bottle of champagne 
He bounded up from that chair again. 

LofC. 



Aunt Dmah^s Quilting Party 23 

Only a yell, — but an honest one; 
It lacked the remotest idea of fun, 
And man, and boy, and pin, and chair 
In close communion mingled there. 



Only the pin, — out of all the four, 

Alone no traces of damage bore; 

The man was mad and dreadfully sore, 

And he lathered that boy behind and before. 

The chair lay smashed upon the floor; 

Its seat was not hurt — but the boy's was raw ! 

Deacon, That's enough of you, young man. Now go to bed. 

Freddie. But, Grandpar 

Deacon (stamps foot). Go to bed. 
Freddie (whines). I don't want to go to bed. 
Deacon. I won't have no back talk. (Seises Freddie, drags 
him to door.) 
Freddie (kicks). I'll get even, see if I don't. 

[EXIT hastily. 

Grandma. I'm glad you know how to manage that boy, Dea- 
con. Now I guess we can have some peace. My singin' and 
dancin' days is over. (Sighs.) I'll jes' set here quiet-like and 
knit, and leave that to the young folks. (Sits at r. f., knits.) 
Hetty. I'm awful glad she's got that much sense left. 

[Mr. Hunter or Reuben, or both, strike up some quick, 
old-fashioned tune. Grandma listens, stops knit- 
ting, rises slowly; advances gradually as if spell- 
bound, smiles. 
Grandma. Well, well ! I ain't heard no music like that 
sence I was a gal ! That's the chune they played for the 
Virginny Reel the night Elijah fust axed me "Would I?" (Beats 
time with hand on knee, pats foot.) It was down to Fordham's 
to a huskin' bee. Yes, that's the very chune. I can see him 
dancin' down the middle now. I tell you Elijah could cut the 
pigeon's wing with the best of 'em ! 

[Drops knitting, dances regular jig. All applaud, laugh. 
Grandma stops suddenly. 
Land sakes ! I didn't know I was a-dancin'. What will the 
preacher say? (Runs to back.) 



24 Aunt Dinah's Quilting Party 

ENTER Nellie. 

Hetty. Here's Nellie now. (Leads Nellie forward.) These 
are my friends, and this is the new music teacher. 

Mr. Hunter (springs forward, grasps Nellie's two hands). 
Nellie ! 

Nellie (joyfully). Robert! 

Mr. Hunter. Dearest! (Kisses Nellie.) 

Nellie. Darling! (All fall back in amazement. Deacon ad- 
vances.) 

Deacon (angrily). Hel-lo! Thunderation ! Beg pardon, 
parson. What's all this? (To Mr. Hunter.) 

Mr. Hunter (ignores Deacon). How came you here, sweet 
heart? 

Nellie. Why, how came you here? 

Deacon (advances between Mr. Hunter and Nellie). Never 
mind. No matter about that. Jes' remember that / am here, 
too, and this has got to stop. (Grasps Mr. Hunter's arm.) 
What do you mean, sir? That is my niece. 

Mr. Hunter (laughs, kisses Nellie). You've got a mighty 
nice niece. She is my promised wife. (Throws arm about 
Nellie. ) 

Nellie. Oh, Robert, I am so happy ! 

Mr. Hunter. I am in heaven. (Retires up stage to b. c, 
leading Nellie. General conversation in pantomime ; sympathy 
evidently with the lovers, who appear absorbed in confidential 
conversation. Mr. Hunter's arm still about Nellie. Deacon 
and Aunt Dinah at d. c, watch lo7.'ers.) 

Deacon (very angry). Well, I swan! 

Aunt Dl You have put your foot in it, haven't you, father? 
Oh, no, there wasn't any danger of her meeting her beau here, 
was there? (Deacon starts tozuard lovers. Aunt Dinah pulls 
his coat-tail.) Come away, father. 

Deacon. But (Tries to jerk loose.) 

Aunt Di. It's done now and can't be undone. (Mr. Hunter 
kisses Nellie.) 

Deacon (furiously, trying to get loose). Stop that, I say! 

Aunt Di. (still clutching coat). Leave 'em be. Don't make 
a fool of yourself. 

Deacon. I won't leave 'em be. That gal has already made 
a fool of me. Can't you see this was a premeditated action done 
on the spur of the moment? (Breaks away, rushes up stage, 
drags Mr. Hunter to "f. c.) Look here, you scallawag of a 
perfessor, the sooner you pack your duds and clar out from here 
the better. I ain't goin' to have no sich goin's on in my house. 



Aunt Dinah's Qailting; Party 25 

ENTER ghost, advances between Deacon and Mr. Hunter. 

All (shriek). The ghost! The ghost!! Ole Hardtack's 
ghost!!! 

[General stampede. Ghost chases promiscuously about. 
GooDBOY hides under the table. Deacon catches and 
unmasks ghost, who proves to be Freddie. Freddie 
has mounted death's head on stick; concealed stick 
by long, white robe, which also hid his own identity. 
Deacon larrups Freddie with stick, drags him out r. 

Freddie. I told you I'd get even. 

Aunt Dl Oh, father, don't ! don't ! He never meant no harm, 

[EXIT Deacon^ Freddie and Aunt Dinah. 

Mr. Hunter {to Nellie), Now's our chance, darling. Here 
is a preacher handy, 

Reuben, Good ! Where is Brother Goodboy. 

Mr. Goodboy {crawls from under table). Here I am. What 
do you want? 

Reuben. Nothing much. Jes' step up here and marry this 
couple. 

Mr. Goodboy {makes for door). Couldn't think of such a 
thing — the Deacon wouldn't like it — you must excuse me. 

[Reuben, First and Second Boys grab Mr. Goodboy, 
bring him to c. 

Reuben. You don't have to think about it, Jes' do it, that's 
all, and be quick. There's no time to spare. (Mr. Hunter and 
Nellie take places.) Come, Cicely, we'll stand up with them. 
{All take places, Mr. Goodboy performs short marriage cere- 
mony, Mr, Hunter kisses Nellie.) 

ENTER Deacon and Aunt Dinah. 

Deacon {seises Mr. Hunter angrily). Didn't I tell you that 
had to stop? This is my house, and the sooner you leave it the 
better. 

Mr. Hunter. All right, I can leave, but if I do Nellie goes 
with me. Allow me, Deacon Peabody, to introduce you to my 
wife. {Kisses Nellie. Deacon collapses. All form semi- 
circle, Mr. Hunter and Nellie in centre, and sing.) 



26 Aunt Dinah's Quilting Party 

WHEN I SAW SWEET NELLIE HOME. 

[The music of this song can be supplied by the publishers, or by the 
Oliver Ditson Company, of Boston, Mass. Price, 40 cents.] 

In the sky the bright stars glittered, 

On the grass the moonlight fell, 
Hushed the sound of daylight bustle, 

Clos'd the pink-eyed Pimpernell ; 
As adown the moss-grown wood-path, 

Where the cattle love to roam, 
From Aunt Dinah's quilting party, 

I was seeing Nellie home. 

Chorus : 

In the sky the bright stars glittered, 
On the grass the moonlight shone; 

From Aunt Dinah's quilting party, 
I was seeing Nellie home. 

When the autumn tinged the greenwood, 

Turning all its leaves to gold, 
In the lawn by the elders shaded, 

I my love to Nellie told ; 
As we stood together, gazing 

On the star-bespangled dome, 
How I blessed the August evening, 

When I saw sweet Nellie home. 
Chorus: 

White hairs mingle with my tresses, 

Furrows steal upon my brow ; 
But a love smile cheers and blesses 

Life's declining moments now; 
Matron in the snowy 'kerchief. 

Closer to my bosom come ; 
Tell me, dost thou still remember. 

When I saw sweet Nellie home? 
Chorus: 



CURTAIN. 






A BUNCH OF ROSES 

A BuRLEsauE Musical Entertainment, By W, D. Felter 

9 

PRICE. 15 CENTS 

Cast op Characters 

Mrs. Phcebb Ann Ross ••••••.. yrom Kalamatoa 

Prudence Lobelia 
Polly Clorinda 

Pameua"^ T the Bunch of Rose* 

Patienck 
Penelopb 
Lilly 

vtoLrr ^ • the Rose-buds 

Daisy 

Sally Sparks ...•....•• whv only ''^ thinks so. 

Matilda Jane ., the Hired Girl 

Melvin Melrose ....;. the Only Young Man on the Spot 

A burlesque musical entertainment in i act, by W. D. Felter (author of " The Sweet 
Family," etc.), i male, 13 female characters. Time of performance about ij^ hours. 
This is a miscellaneous programme rendered for the benefit of " The Free Ice Fund 
for the Philippine Islanders." It includes various "specialties," living pictures, 
Mother-Goose chorus, etc., and concludes with a burlesque operetta entitled "John- 
ny Jones." The Roses, the Rosebuds and the Only Young Man on the Spot make up 
an entertainment that cannot fail to excite continuous mirth for the better part of an 
evening. The author has produced this burlesque at church entertainments in many 
parts of the country, with unvarying success. 

GERTRUDE MASON, M.D. 

Or, THE LADY DOCTOR 

A Farce in One Act, for Female Characters, By 
L. M. C. Armstrong 

price. 15 cents 
Cast of Characters 

Gertrudk Mason, M.D a young Physician 

Bertha Lawrence ) r 7- • j 

Ella Gray f her Friends 

Miss Jane Simpkins ....... tf Spinster of Uncertain Age 

Mrs. Van Style one of the '"'' 400'" 

Norah ..*•.. Dr. Mason's Cook 

Marie a Lady's Maid 

Tjme.— The Present. Place.— New York. 
Tike of Representation. — Thirty Minutes. 

An exceedingly bright piece for young ladies, in which young Dr. Gertrude, 
already a victim of circumstances, is made the victim of a practical joke. The scenes 
with Mrs. Van Style^ who mistakes the doctor for a pawnbroker, and Miss Jane 
Simpkins^ who brings a sick dog to be cured, are hilarious, while Nora, an Irish cook, 
is deliciously droll. The cook is the star of the piece, but all the personages are 
vivacious and every situation bristles with fun. 

Dick & Fitzgerald, Publishers, i 8 Ann Street, New York 



JUL 23 1903 



TRIED AND TRUE. 



A DRAMA IN THREE ACTS, BY J. R. FURLONG. 
PRICE, 15 CENTS. 

Eight male, three female characters : Leading juvenile man, low comedian, two 
heavies, character heavy, eccentric negro comedian, old man, walking gentleman, 
leading lady, soubrette and character lady. Interior, street and garden scenes. Time 
of playing, two hours and a quarter. A stirring play of city life, with strongly con- 
trasted characters, full of brisk action and lively dialogue. The movement is so rapid 
and the interest so well sustained that the attention is held from the rise to the fall of 
the curtain. Every character is prominent and affords scope for good acting.- 
SYNOPSIS OP INCIDENTS. 

Act I. At the " Red Light" Saloon. One of nature's (colored) noblemen. — A 
regular gold mine. — The vampire's plot. — A weak-minded old man. — A game of bluff. — 
"You are the thief, and I will prove it." — Belinda Jane on the search. — A division of 
spoils. — " Dat gal takes de oj^sters." — The compact of friends. — The vampire defied. — 
Another trick in the game. — " When_Muggins goes back on you, look for him in de 
cemetery." 

Act II. The Vampire's Rendezvous.— Truthful James_ of Hohokus, N. G.— 
The new pard. — In the toils. — "Now, Elliot Greythorne, we will balance accounts." — 
The underground cell. — The winning hand. — Kate's history. — An ultimatum. — "Trust 
me, and we will baflfle this villain yet." — The right bower — "Oh, how I wish I could 
swaller myself ! " — Snaky Jim's little game. — A struggle for liberty.— Tableau. 

Act III. — Once moke on Familiar Ground. — " Dat missus ob mine, she's a 
dandy, she is." — Belinda's good fortune. — " I've brought home enough scalps to cover 
a hair trunk." — The vampire at his old tricks. — A last chance. — "Dat's right, bust de 
whole business ! " — Coming up smiling. — Father and son.— "You've been dancin' de 
devil's hornpipe, an' now de ole gent is going to pass 'round de hat." — Snaky Jim pulls 
a trigger. — Strange disclosures. — A happy reunion. — Tried and True. 



UNDER A CLOUD. 

A COMEDY-DRAMA IN TWO ACTS, BY CHAS. TOWNS END. 

PRICE, 15 CENTS. 

Five male, two female characters : Leading man, society villain, old man, eccen- 
tric comedian, walking gentleman, leading lady and soubrette. One interior scene. 
Costumes of the day. Time of playing, one hour and a half. Having an excellent 
plpt and a strong comedy element, this is a bright, breezy play full of snap and " go," 
with energetic but not too complicated action. The characters are sharply contrasted, 
the interest continuous, the wit bright, the humor pleasing, and the situations are 
striking and impressive. 

SYNOPSIS OF INCIDENTS. 

Act I. Ante-Room adjoining Mr. Tracey's Private Office in New York. — 
A December morning. — The "moral" young man. — Sporting news. — Bad luck. — 
The wrong horse wins. — The two clerks.— " You're a jolly buffer!'" — Morley speaks 
his mind. — Durkin's Dilemma. — " For Heaven's sake, Morley, you won't tell him ! " — 
Morley 's promise. — Wild oats. — The appointment. — The detective arrives. — How 
thieves are caught. — Tracey explains. — Darby gives an opinion. — "Bosh!" — The 
marked bills. — "It's an old plant, but it may work." — Tracey is puzzled. — The sub- 
scription paper. — Durkin's hypocrisy. — Morley's liberality — A few puns. — "Ring 
the bell!" — A battle of wit. — Sharptellsa weighty secret. — The proposal. — More fun. — 
Durkin's villainy.— Changing the bills.^ — A talking; match.— Trouble ahead. — "The 
private mark." — Darby's Doubts. — Poor Morley. — Disgraced. — Nina's faith. — 
Tableau. 

Act II. A Lapse of One Year ; scene as before.— A rascal's triumph. — The 
tramp. — "Me name is Billy the Bum." — The trust funds. — Josie and Sharp. — "Bother 
the moon." — The tramp returns. — A big story of a big dinner. — "Me name will be 
mud." — The plot. — The tramp gets mad. — " Do your own robbing ! " — The agreement. 
— Nina and Durkin. — A cunning scoundrel. — " I am not perfect, though I try to be." — 
Nina's terror. — The alternative. — The warningnote. — "Somethingisgoingto happen." 
— The dummy package.— -The tramp and his "pal." — Paying the price. — The mock 
robberj'. — Durkin gets his head in the noose. — " A special edition." — The tramp on 
hand. — Durkin's wonderful nerve. — The rope begins to tighten. — Another "special 
edition." — The trap is sprung. — "Who are you ? ' — Righted at last. — Tableau. 

I^^" Copies vtailedy postpaid, to any address, on receipt of the annexed prices. ..^^ 



Dick & Fitzgerald, Publishers, i8 Ann Street, New York 



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JK 15 CENTS EACH f 

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)!; MY AWFUL DAD. Comedy that always makes a brilliant hit; 3 acts; jK 

^K 2 hours 6 6 W 

^|\ NIGHT [N TAPPAN, A. Farce comedy; excessively funny and sure to yf/ 

^(^ take ; i act ; ^ hour 2 3 lyl^ 

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/{> OUR BOYS. Comedy; always succeeds ; 3 acts ; 2 hours 6 4 yf^ 

jj OUT IN THE STREETS. Drama. Wherever this play is presented it is \l? 

?j> received with the greatest enthusiasm ; 3 acts ; i hour 6 4 w 

^jy PAIR OF IDIOTS, A. Up-to-date society comedy, with bright and witty ^K 

^!y dialogue and telling situations ; 2 acts ; 2 hours 3 3 5K 

/|ii PICKING UP THE PIECES. Effective comedy either as a parlor play or {If} 

/JS curtain raiser ; i act ; 30 minutes i i lyf/i 

(ji^ ROBERT EMMET. (New version.) A new, actable version of this great \V 

w historical drama ; 3 acts ; 2 hours 10 2 VV 

Jj; SAVED FROM THE WRECK. Drama ; serio-comic ; 3 acts, 2 hours.... 8 3 ^j^ 

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/jVi laughter ; 3 acts ; 2 hours 6 6 yf^r 

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'.n star ; 3 acts ; 2 hours 5 4 Xf/ 

^!y SINGLE LIFE, Comedy; the characters are all comic and all "Stars": :K 

^j\ 3 acts ; 2 hours 5 5 Jg 

/JV SNOWBALL, THE. Farcical comedy ; the popularity of this come4y is un- yf/ 

i^j\t excelled ; 3 acts ; 2 hours , . 4 4 3 yf/ 

jjj SOLON SHINGLE. Yankee comedy ; 2 acts ; i^ hours 7 2 \f? 

/jy STRIFE. (Master and Men.) Great labor drama; a play for the masses ; ^K 

/j^ 4 acts ; 2 1< hours 9 4 jjj 

(f^ SUNSET. Comedy; requires some acting with reserve force in both comedy yf/ 

/JS and pathos ; i act ; 50 minutes 3 3 yf/r 

^^ SWEETHEARTS. Comedy combining fun and pathos ; 2 acts ; i hour. .. 2 2 VW 

Jjy TEN NIGHTS IN A BARROOM. New and simplified version of an old JK 

Ay favorite that will draw hundreds where other plays draw dozens; 5 acts ; «% 

Xy 2 hours . . 7 4 l^ 

/iy THREE HATS. Farcical comedy ; one ot the greatest favorites ; cannot fail ^t-. 

/ly to be a success ; 3 acts ; 2 hours . . 5 4 ^»% 

^|\ TIMOTHY DELANO'S COURTSHIP. Yankee comedy full of laughable yf> 

/JX incidents ; 2 acts ; i hour 2 3 yf) 

j^ TRIED AND TRUE. Stirring play of city life, full of brisk action and lively vj? 

W dialogue; 3 acts ; 2 J^ hours 8 3 w 

?J> TRIPLE WEDDING. Short excellent drama of home life by the author of W 

?j> " The County Fair " ; 3 acts ; i }{ hours 4 4 w 

>|y UNCLE JACK. Drama; comic, with a good moral ; i act ; ij^ hours 3 4 jK 

/|y UNCLE TOM'S CABIN. New version. An old favorite rewritten so that ^f^ 

^^y it can be played in any hall ; 5 acts ; 2^4 hours 7 5 ^f/ 

/JV UNDER A CLOUD. Comedy drama ; bright, breezy, full of snap and go; yV 

^j\ 2 acts ; 1 14 hours 5 2 yf/ 

d> UNEXPECTED FARE, AN. Comedy affording excellent scope for amusing yf/" 

/|V situations and by-play ; i act ; i^ hour i 5 yf/i 

/♦\ WANDERER'S RETURN, THE.' (Enoch Arden.) Drama with strong yf> 

<'ft plot and effective characters ; 4 acts ; 2^4 hours 6 4 vf/" 

^i> WOODCOCK'S LITTLE GAME. Farce-comedy ; funny ; 2 acts ; i hour.. 4 4 \f/ 

/ft WOVEN WES, THE. Strong and sparkling drama ; has a military flavor, 'yf> 

/fV and is frequently played under the title of " In Old Virginia " ; 4 acts ; yf/ 

<i\ 2 1< hours 7 3 \l? 

-fft DICK & FITZGERALD, Publishers, 18 Ann St., N. Y. U 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 



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COMEDIES AND DkA^JJv^* ««! ^ 




25 CENTS EACH - 

M. F. 
ALL THE COMFORTS OF HOME. Comedy by William Gillette. Only 

authorized edition of this famous play ; 4 acts ; 2^ hours lo 7 

BREAKING HIS BONDS. Strong drama with comic underplay; easily 

staged ; 4 acts ; 2 hours 6 3 

BUTTERNUT'S BRIDc; OR, SHE WOULD BE A WIDOW. Farce 

comedy for laughing purposes only ; 3 acts ; 2.% hours 11 6 

CAPTAIN DICK. Effective drama, founded on an episode of the Civil War ; 

3 acts; 2 hours 9 6 

DEACON, THE. Comedy drama that is simply immense. Alvyn Joslyn 

type, old man leading character ; 5 acts ; 2J4 hours 6 6 

EDWARDS THE SPY. Drama ; a brilliant episode of the Civil War ; 5 acts ; 

2j4 hours 10 4 

ERIN GO BRAGH. Up-to-date Irish drama; both serious and comic in 

scope, not sensational ; 3 acis ; 2 hours ^ 5 4 

GOLDEN GUl«CH. (The Government Scoui) Drama that combines fun, 

sentiment, and exciting situations ; 3 acts ;/2j^ hours 11 3 

GYPSY QUEEN, THE. Romantic drama with bright comedy parts; 

4 acts ; 2% hours ....) 5 5 

JAILBIRD, THE. Drama of city life, containing a vivid plot with well- 
diversified interest, together with a pretty love-story ; 5 acts ; 2% hours. . 6 3 

JOHN'"BRAG, DECEASED. Fa«^comeuy; one ot the best farces ever 

published. ; nothing slow in this piece ; 4 acts ; 2j^ hours 8 5 

JOSIAH'S .COURTSHIP. Farcical comedy drama; uproarious comedy 

features alifeipafe •^^ith forceful, but not heavy pathos ; 4 acts ; 2 hours 7 4 

MAN FROM MAJW^^' Comedy drama with a wide-awake hero from " Down 

East " ; 5 acts ; 2j^hours 9 3 

MISS MOSHER OF COLORADO. Comedy drama with great " charac- 
ter " parts ; 4 acts, 214; hours 5 3 

MY LADY DARRELL. Drama possessing all the elements of success ; 
powerful situations, effective stage pictures, and grand climaxes ; 4 acts ; 
2^ hours 9 6 

NIGHT OFF, A. Comedy by Augustin Daly ; printed from the original 

prompt-copy ; 4 act's ; 2% hours 6 5 

PRISONER OF ANDERSONVILLE. Military comedy drama. An excel- 
lent play for amateurs, as all the parts are good and evenly divided ; 4 acts ; 
2 J4^ hours 10 4 

REGULAR FLIRT, A. Up to-date comedy, especially recommended to 

those who have produced the author's "Just for Fun " ; 3 acts ; 2 hours... 4 4 

SEVEN-TWENTY-EIGHT. By Augustin Daly. There have been several 
imitations of this comedy, but none of them approaches the original ; 
4 acts ; 2% hours 7 4 

SHAUN AROON. Stirring drama of home life in Ireland ; a simple real pic- 
ture of country life in the Emerald Isle ; 3 acts ; 2 hours 7 3 

SQUIRE TOMPKINS' DAUGHTER. Strong comedy drama ; 5 acts; 

2>^ hours.. : 5 2 

STEEL KING, THE. Comedy drama with brisk action; depicts the strug- 
gle between labor and capital ; 4 acts ; 2% hours 5 3 

WHAT'S NEXT? Farce comedy: 3 rets; plays 150 minutes; raises 150 

laughs 7 4 

WHITE LIE, A. Comedy drama ; abounds in laughable comedy features 

and strong situations of serious interest ; 4 acts ; 2^ hours 4 3 



Jt> DICK & FITZGERALD, Publishers, 18 Ann St., N. Y. ^V 



